Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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