Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
