I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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