took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
