MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
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I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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