Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize