did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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