I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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