i just wanna soil my oats bro
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
