As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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