last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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