so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
