Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
