I will die if light touches me.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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