But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
