Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
