Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
