like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
