so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
