overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
