I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
