So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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