Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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