chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Can you bring me the toilet please
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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