dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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