is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
