all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
