SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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