I want to walk on stilts...naked
and she was petting her beer can
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
