I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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