cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize