I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
