he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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