The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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