ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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