just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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