she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
