the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
