I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize