god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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