you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
