We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
