Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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