I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
