I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
