The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my sisters under your porch take her home
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
