im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
