I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
