dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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