Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
