I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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