I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
