all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
