I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize