Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
