I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
