No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
