I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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