I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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