OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
