Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
